tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-301267442011-09-29T13:08:29.857-05:00Here you'll find outdated samples of a couple SNL style pieces. I write volumes of all kinds daily. If you'd like something written for a particular affair or unusual use, you'll find I am very flexible and can do edgy, goofy and everything in between. Call me at 262.527.8969 to discuss your current or future project.scott beddomenoreply@blogger.comBlogger31100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30126744.post-1155352455499207882009-08-11T21:51:00.000-05:002010-04-22T13:10:13.422-05:00A bad father dies, a daughter cries and a son-in-law connives with an overly imaginative free lance funeral planner.<br /><br />(This is copyrighted material, however, if you would like to use it in any way- just ask and you shall receive. Note this blog format for scripts is funky but nonetheless readable. Enjoy.)<br /><br />by Scott Beddome<br /><br /><a href="mailto:scottbeddome@yahoo.com">scottbeddome@yahoo.com</a><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">UPDATE 4/22/10:<br /><br />This piece has been performed by dozens of groups from around the globe (mostly the UK for some reason). Here is a recently recorded version of it performed by broadcasting students at the Mount Royal University in Calgary, CA for a live radio final assignment. Thanks Nate!<br /><br /></span><a title="Radio Drama - The Art of Funeral Planning at MySpaceFileHosting.com" href="http://myspacefilehosting.com/lmirr/Radio_Drama_-_The_Art_of_Funeral_Planning.mp3.html" target="_blank"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 3px 0px 0px" border="0" alt="Radio Drama - The Art of Funeral Planning at MySpaceFileHosting.com" align="absMiddle" src="http://myspacefilehosting.com/ico/mp3.gif" width="32" height="32" />Radio_Drama_-_The_Art_of_Funeral_Planning.mp3</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />THE ART OF FUNERAL PLANNING.<br /><br />FADE IN:<br /><br />INT. CITY HOUSE - DAY<br /><br /><strong>The Funeral Planner sits with a typical suburban husband and<br />wife at the dining room table of their home. A 10" x 12" photo of the fat, lazy, greasy dead dad sits on the table next to them.The husband is angry, the wife sad and the overly theatrical Funeral Planner is "sellin' it!"<br /></strong><br />PLANNER<br />A Funeral Planner is very much<br />like a wedding planner! Funerals<br />don't have to be depressingly sad<br />events...<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />(sarcastically)<br />Yeah. Just because somebody<br />died... What's to be sad about..<br /><br />WIFE<br />Honey...<br /><br />PLANNER<br />It should be a celebration of<br />their life!<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />HA! He molested her as a child.<br />Went to prison for it!<br /><br />WIFE<br />He apologized. I accepted. All was<br />forgiven.<br /><br />PLANNER<br />A tribute to the life he lived and<br />the impact he had on the people he<br />came in contact with!<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />Fifteen years of psychotherapy!<br /><br />WIFE<br />We BOTH learned to hug!<br /><br />PLANNER<br />(gently)<br />He learned to hug. THAT'S the kind<br />of thing I want to know about him.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />Look. Get to the point. What are<br />we looking at here?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Well it all depends on how much<br />you loved him. Ahhhh...<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />You mean how much money we are<br />willing to spend...<br /><br />PLANNER<br />We like to say "They don't die for<br />nothin""<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />How much?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Well the bargain basement has us<br />just adding little theatrical<br />touches to the service at the<br />funeral home.<br /><br />WIFE<br />That sounds nice.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />Like?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Well. A lot of people like our<br />resurrection features. For $800.<br />we can have the hand wave goodbye<br />at the end of the service.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />You mean you...<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Oh yes it's very simple. We rig up<br />some minor hydraulics to the body hidden<br />in the underside of the<br />casket of course- and the end of<br />the service, just before the<br />coffin is closed it waves.<br /><br /><strong>THE PLANNER DOES A DISNEY PUPPET-LIKE ROBOTIC WAVE. </strong><br /><br /><p>PLANNER<br />One time it got stuck and kept<br />going like this...<br /><strong></strong></p><p><strong>PLANNER MAKES JERKY "QUEEN’S WAVE" MOTION.</strong></p><strong></strong><p>PLANNER<br />Another time the arm came loose and was thrown<br />across the room landing on the buffet. People<br />didn’t eat too much after that...<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />What else you got?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Well it can go all the way up to a<br />full resurrection! For about<br />$13,000. the entire body will<br />raise from the casket amidst fog<br />and rumbling thunder- a beam of<br />light projects from the ceiling<br />and he is lifted up through a<br />hidden hole in the roof as 500<br />white balloons drop to the floor-<br />It's breathtaking! Everybody<br />cries!<br /><br />WIFE<br />I like that! </p><p>HUSBAND<br />Anything ever go wrong with that one?</p><p><br />PLANNER<br />Well we once experimented with pyrotechnics<br />where the flame came right up from underneath...</p><p><br />HUSBAND<br />Wait! No! It’s OK. We’ll use our imagination..</p><p><br />PLANNER<br />Most of his relatives said they actually thought it was appropriate because he was probably going to hell anyway..<br /><br /><strong>HUSBAND GIVES A DIRTY LOOK. THEN</strong>...<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />Why can't we just have it here?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Exactly. That's what everybody's<br />doing. There's so much more<br />flexibility!<br /><br />WIFE<br />How would that work?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Here we can create a no holds<br />barred presentation of who he was,<br />how he lived his life and how he<br />will leave this world.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />Sounds expensive.<br /><br />WIFE<br />He's MY father dammit! And he's<br />only gonna die once!<br /><br /><strong>TO THE PLANNER.<br /></strong><br />WIFE<br />What do you suggest?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />Well, tell me about him. What work<br />did he do?<br /><br /><strong>HUSBAND LAUGHS OUT LOUD.<br /></strong><br />WIFE<br />Oh. I don't think that would work<br />out...<br /><br />PLANNER<br />You'd be surprised- tell me.<br /><br />WIFE<br />(exhales)<br />He was a sanitation engineer.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />A garbage man!<br /><br />WIFE<br />Twenty seven years. Never missed a day.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />Never took a shower! Hated the<br />rain!<br /><br /><strong>THERE'S A LONG PAUSE AS THE PLANNER CONTEMPLATES...<br /></strong><br />PLANNER<br />A garbage man who hugs... OH. OH!<br />YES! There is soo much I can do<br />with that!<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />(smiles)<br />This outta be good.<br /><br />PLANNER<br />OK. The setting. Not in the house.<br />In the garage- the ALLEY! Ratty<br />old couches with garbage strewn<br />everywhere. Two old pick-up trucks<br />with the tail gates folded down.<br />One holds his body in a...HEFTY<br />bag! Twist tied! And the other<br />tailgate holds a buffet of Hormel<br />Chili and Hash still in the cans.<br />NO UTENSILS! And a gallon jug of<br />whiskey. NO CUPS! How'em I doing<br />so far?<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />I'm with ya.<br /><br /><strong>WIFE JUST BEGINS TO WEEP AT THE BEAUTY OF IT.<br /></strong><br />PLANNER<br />A few short words by...well just<br />you.<br /><br /><strong>NODS TO THE WIFE AS SHE BLOWS HER NOSE.<br /></strong><br />PLANNER<br /><strong>(building to a<br />cresendo)</strong><br />Then, for the finale, timing is<br />very important. As the service<br />ends, his work buddies will, all<br />together, lift YOUR FATHER WHO<br />HUGGED in his BIG GLOSSY BLACK BAG<br />high in the air and drop him into<br />the dumpster just as the<br />sanitation truck comes to grab it<br />and with a FINAL VIOLENT THRUST,<br />tosses him INTO the vehicle he has<br />spent his LIFE riding on the back<br />of and carries him away to his<br />final resting place- THE CITY<br />LANDFILL!!!<br /><br />WIFE<br />Oh its sounds so wonderful...<br /><br />PLANNER<br />I'm a genius. Saves money! NO BURIAL FEES!<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />How much?<br /><br />PLANNER<br />One hour. Materials. 600 bucks.<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />(begins to cry)<br />That's just beautiful! I'm sorry I<br />doubted you...<br /><br />WIFE<br />You're a gifted artist!<br /><br /><strong>SCENE BEGINS TO FADE.<br /></strong><br />PLANNER<br />Now if you'll sign here...<br /><br />HUSBAND<br />How much more for a balloon drop?<br /><br />FADE OUT.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30126744-115535245549920788?l=freecomedysketches.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>scott beddomenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30126744.post-1151111834839869782009-06-23T19:51:00.000-05:002009-11-14T15:00:38.036-06:00The boss at the FBI has a hot lead. He got it from the new high tech phone surveillance system recently installed. Under pressure to produce something positive for a plummetting regime, he dispatches Agent Apple to check it out.<br /><br />(This is copyrighted material, however, if you would like a pdf script for your use or wish to use it in any way- just ask and you shall receive. Note this blog format for scripts is funky but nonetheless readable. Enjoy.)<br /><br />by<br />Scott Beddome<br /><a href="mailto:scottbeddome@yahoo.com">scottbeddome@yahoo.com</a><br /><br /><strong>Where's Muhammad</strong><br /><br />FADE IN:<br /><br />INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY<br /><br /><strong>Typical government office. Fluorescent lights, outdated everything. Agent Apple enters and approaches his boss who is seated behind a desk that is heaping with stacks of paperwork.</strong><br /><br />BOSS<br />(Frazzled)<br />Oh good- you're here!<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(he's so cool)<br />Yep. I'm here. Now what's so<br />important?<br /><br />BOSS<br />I found something on the computer.<br />Now where'd it go?<br /><br /><strong>The boss pushes away the stacks of files. They fall to the floor. Beneath it all is a laptop. He blows on it and the dust flies.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />This could be big!<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Big?<br /><br />BOSS<br />Real Big!<br /><br /><strong>Now he's got Apple's attention.</strong><br /><br />BOSS<br />Got a hot one for you.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Hot?<br /><br />BOSS<br />Real hot!<br /><br /><strong>Apple leans in as his boss types wildly on the laptop.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />This new telephone surveillance<br />program is a real dozy. Took me a<br />while to figure it out but this<br />morning it kicked out a lead.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />A lead?<br /><br />BOSS<br />Yeah. A good lead. Could be<br />somethin Apple. I want you to<br />check it out.<br /><br /><strong>The boss looks around and lowers his profile.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />I've been listening for about a<br />week now to an old lady named<br />Millie.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />An old lady named...<br /><br />BOSS<br />Stop repeating everything I say<br />and listen.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Listen?<br /><br /><strong>The boss backhands Apple in the face.</strong><br /><br />BOSS<br />Darn it Apple! There's somebody<br />named Muhammad there- he's a<br />Persian- comes and goes- spends a<br />lot of time in the basement. I<br />think the old chick is in love<br />with him. Talks about him all the<br />time.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Yep. That's the M-O. What do you<br />want me to do?<br /><br />BOSS<br />(impatient now)<br />Get over there check it out!<br /><br /><strong>Boss's phone rings. Both fumble with and scramble to answer several cell phones that they possess. Finally the boss answers the one "regular" phone on his desk.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />Talk to me!<br /><br /><strong>He's talking to the person on the phone.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />Oh...Ahhh...Yes sir! (beat)<br /><br />BOSS<br />Well, ah, no we haven't got<br />anything yet...<br /><br /><strong>The voice on the other end is so loud that he pulls the phone away from his face. Returns.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />Yeah I know the poll numbers are<br />down.. but there's just not much<br />out there.<br /><br /><strong>More screaming from the other end of the line.</strong><br /><br />BOSS<br />OK! OK! Tomorrow. I'll have<br />something by tommorrow.<br /><br /><strong>Hangs up. He's freakin out.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />(to Apple)<br />That one came straight from the<br />top.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />The president?<br /><br />BOSS<br />No you idiot! Karl Rove. You don't<br />want to screw with him! You heard<br />what he did to...<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(nodding )<br />Yeah, Yeeeeeah. That wasn't<br />pretty.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />I need you buddy, or we could both<br />be done for...<br /><br /><strong>Both of them slowly lean back in their seats and put on cool hats. The lights dim leaving only their faces visible. Then </strong><strong>they simultaneously take out cigarettes. They light the cigs. Take a deep inhale and a deep exhale. Fades to black.<br />You hear both begin a loud hacking flemmy cough.<br /></strong><br />EXT. A HOUSE IN MIAMI - DAY<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Apple is standing just outside the front door. He pauses to listen. And hears...<br /><br /></strong><strong></strong>MILLIE<br />Muhammad! Thank God you're back. I<br />missed you so much.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(whispers to<br />himself)<br />He's here!<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Oh yes! You like that don't you?<br />Don't you?<br /><br /><strong>Apple thinks "ish." He rings the bell. Millie answers.<br /></strong><br />MILLIE<br />(suspicious)<br />Yes.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Ah. Hi how are you today?<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Fine.<br /><br /><strong>Apple sees a group of women sitting in the living room of the house.<br /></strong><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Having a little get together<br />today?<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Why yes. Do you knit? Did you come<br />for the group?<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Uh, yeah, but I...<br /><br />MILLIE<br />It's OK. You don't have to be an<br />old lady to join. Come on in.<br />Ladies we have a new member. His<br />name is...<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Ah Apple, Johnny...Johnny Apple.<br /><br /><strong>He sits amongst the eight old ladies as they start to gaggle.<br /></strong><br />AGENT APPLE<br />I, ah, forgot my knitting needles<br />and yarn.<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #1<br />Who could knit on the first day? I<br />know I couldn't. I was so nervous.<br /><br /><strong>They all concur.<br /></strong><br />KNITTING LADY #2<br />Well somebody get him some tea for<br />god's sake!<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Oh no. Thanks. I can't stay that<br />long. Just wanted to meet<br />everybody. Say Hi. Is this<br />everyone?<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Yes, this is it. A nice cozy<br />little group. Too many can get<br />difficult.<br /><br /><strong>They all concur once again.<br /></strong><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Well it's just that as I was<br />coming in I thought I heard you<br />talking to ...was it Muhammad?<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Oh yes. He took off when he saw<br />you.<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #1<br />Persians! They're that way.<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #2<br />High strung.<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #1<br />Come and go as they please.<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Well he's home now. Oh I missed<br />him.<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #2<br />Stinks!<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #1<br />He really needs a bath Millie.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />Where is he?<br /><br />MILLIE<br />Probably in the basement...<br /><br />KNITTING LADY #2<br />Doing whatever he does down there.<br /><br /><strong>Apple's cell phone rings. It's his boss. The ladies chat as<br />he takes the call</strong>.<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(to the cellphone)<br />Yeah, he's here now. Well I don't<br />know, need more time...Now?!(beat)<br />Now?! But...But...<br /><br /><strong>Apple stands up and whips out his ID.</strong><br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(taking control)<br />Alright! Agent Apple! F-B-I!<br />Everybody down on the floor!<br /><br /><strong>The Knitting Club hits the floor as the place is stormed by FBI, ATF and local swat teams coming through every available opening.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />Where's Muhammad!<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />The basement! Check the basement!<br /><br /><strong>There is a hail of machine gun fire all around by at least four guys. The air clears and, of course, nobody is hit.<br /></strong><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(disgusted)<br />Did you have to?<br /><br />BOSS<br />Orders. Rove again. There's 47<br />cameras outside.<br /><br />FBI SWAT GUY<br />Sir! He got away! No sign of<br />Muhammad in the basement, just<br />this cat.<br /><br />MILLIE<br />(from out the door)<br />Muhammad! Muhammad!<br /><br /><strong>FBI Swat Guy hands the Persian cat to the Boss who quickly<br />dumps it on Apple.<br /></strong><br />BOSS<br />She really loves that guy. What is<br />it with good women and bad men? Oh<br />well. Press conference. Good work<br />Apple. (Exits)<br /><br />AGENT APPLE<br />(sneezes)<br />I hate cats.<br /><br /><strong>Cuts to real (actual) footage of CNN coverage of press conference. Attorney General Roberto Gonzales speaks: "We want to congratulate everybody on this team effort..."</strong><br /><br />FADE OUT.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30126744-115111183483986978?l=freecomedysketches.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>scott beddomenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30126744.post-1151023067511388692009-06-22T19:29:00.000-05:002009-11-14T15:00:53.748-06:00You may have seen the oil company exec's on <strong>Meet The Press</strong> this past Sunday. While they profess to be completely independent, something tells me they may be closer than they say...<br /><br />(This is copyrighted material, however, if you would like a pdf script for your use or wish to use it in any way- just ask and you shall receive. Note this blog format for scripts is funky but nonetheless readable. Enjoy.)<br /><br /><strong>THE OIL MAN, MAN.</strong><br /><br />by <em>V. Scott Beddome</em><br /><a href="mailto:scottbeddome@yahoo.com">scottbeddome@yahoo.com</a><br /><br />FADE IN:<br /><br />INT. SET OF "MEET THE PRESS" - DAY<br /><br /><strong>Russert sits directly across from the heads of the three biggest oil companies in the country. They are all about the same age, speak with the same cadence and tonality and are all dressed identically with exception to their ties. </strong><br /><br />RUSSERT<br />(uptempo-hyped)<br /><br />Welcome back - if it's Sunday it's<br />Meet the Press! With me this<br />morning- the CEO's of the top<br />three oil companies in America.<br />Gentlemen- welcome!<br /><br /><strong>One after the other, each says "Tim" and does a "shoot the gun" hand gesture with a wink.</strong><br /><br />RUSSERT<br />Gas prices are way up- why?<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Demand outstrips supply...<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />Crude oil prices are up...<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />The American consumer is using too much...<br /><br /><strong>All the oil men sit with the same complacent smiles and hands folded in frontof them as they anticipate the next question. (Beat)<br /></strong><br />RUSSERT<br />You're saying that the oil<br />companies have nothing to<br />do with it?<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />It's an open market Tim.<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />It's a global business. We're<br />interdependent.<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />We have no control.<br /><br />RUSSERT<br />But oil company profits are up 66%<br />in just the past year...<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />It's a ...<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />misconception.<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />It only looks that way.<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Over the long term- our profits<br />aren't that high.<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />Taken over the past 100 years and<br />over the next 100 years...<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />...doesn't add up to much.<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />The industry's struggling Tim...<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />Tough times Tim...<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />We're barely makin it.(Beat) Tim.<br /><br />RUSSERT<br />What do we need to do?<br /><br /><strong>In a very mechanical manner, Oil Man #1 picks up a pitcher of water, pours a glass and drinks from it then sets the pitcher next to Oil Man #2's glass.<br /></strong><br />OIL MAN #1<br />We need more supply.<br /><br /><strong>Oil Man #2 picks up the pitcher of water and, in a similar style to that of Oil Man #1 pours himself a glass, sets the pitcher next to Oil Man #3 and says...<br /></strong><br />OIL MAN #2<br />Increased development!<br /><br /><strong>Oil Man #3 mimics the water drinking motions - exactly.<br /></strong><br />OIL MAN #3<br />Drill more wells!<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Alaska!<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />The Gulf!<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />National Parks!<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Kill the elk!<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />Kill the fish!<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />Kill the people!<br /><br /><strong>All three say "To oil! Cheers!" and tap their glasses together.</strong><br /><br />RUSSERT<br />You all seem to be very much<br />alike. You speak the same, say the<br />same words, I mean you're<br />finishing each others sentences!<br />Why shouldn't the public believe<br />that you are in cahoots- caluding?<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Well Tim, first of all, you may<br />not have noticed but...our ties<br />are different. Mine is blue...<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />Mine's brown Tim.<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />(in an "aw schucks" way)<br />I got here late so I got pink<br />today.<br /><br />RUSSERT<br />Gentleman...<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />(interrupts)<br />Tim<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />I<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />can<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />gaurentee<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />you<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />we<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />are<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />not<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />coluding<br /><br />RUSSERT<br />(getting tired)<br />But...<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Aside<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />from<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />these<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />shows<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />we<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />never<br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />see<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />each<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />other.<br /><br />RUSSERT<br />(dumbfounded)<br />And what about the president, do<br />you talk with him?<br /><br /><strong>Quick shot of all three Oil Men in See No evil, Hear No Evil and Say No Evil poses.<br /></strong><br />RUSSERT<br />(pushes)<br />You do or don't you talk to the<br />president?!<br /><br /><strong>Oil Man #2 starts to say "Well, Tim..." When he is bopped on the head with a hammer by #3 and gouged in the eyes by #1 which leads to a quick series of 3 Stooges antics with the "Whoop, Whoop, Whoop" vocalizations.<br /></strong><br />RUSSERT<br />(disappointed)<br />Gentlemen...thank you.<br /><br /><strong>The Oil Men gather themselves, fix each others ties and straighten each other up. </strong><br /><br />OIL MAN #1<br />Tim before we go...<br /><br />OIL MAN #2<br />We've prepared a little something<br />for you.<br /><br />OIL MAN #3<br />And it goes like this!<br /><br /><strong>As they stand up they all put on top hats and canes are tossed to them simultaneously from offstage. A curtain closes behind them as they spin and begin to dance just like the Spinners. Music starts. Sung to the tune of "Rubberband Man" they sing:<br /></strong><br />Hand me down my walkin' cane<br />Hand me down my hat<br />Hurry now and don't be late<br />'Cause we ain't got time to chat<br /><br />You and me were goin' out<br />To catch the latest sound<br />Guaranteed to blow your mind<br />So high you won't come down<br />Hey y'all prepare yourself for the OIL MAN, MAN!<br />You've never heard a sound<br />Like the OIL MAN, MAN!<br />You're bound to lose control<br />When the OIL MAN starts to jam<br /><br /><strong>They bough and give each other congratulatory kisses on the lips.<br /></strong><br />FADE OUT.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30126744-115102306751138869?l=freecomedysketches.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>scott beddomenoreply@blogger.com